Trying to move on

[ClingingToHope]

PMA, confidence, be fun, humorous, bold, sweep her off her feet.

What do you have to lose? It's hard but make an effort to focus on these things.

I was talking to my sister about the DB rules of giving them time and space to miss you. It seems so against nature and it hasn't worked for me. Shouldn't I be fighting for her?

But I have reached out several times in these 10 months only to be harshly rebuffed.

The last time we had an R talk was in October when she again reiterated that "she doesn't love me and doesn't think she ever loved me. She had doubts six months into the marriage."

In December, for Christmas, we spent seven hours together with her family and I was the man she always wanted me to be.

A week later she said she'd decided on her lawyer and wanted to sit down and work out an agreement.

I don't believe for a second that she never loved me -- that's the brick wall she's built over time to justify this -- but until I see some kind of change, some doubt, some reason to believe that things are going to change, I have to keep soldiering on.

I so want to go over there and try to sweep her off her feet, but it would just not work. She's scheduled a trip to South Dakota with this group of redneck motorcyclists because her best friend lives in a tiny town and hangs out with these hicks.

Her never-ending search for the magic thing that will make her happy goes on. Right now, the divorce is the thing that will make her happy. You should just hear her voice on the phone when she can turn the conversation into a D talk. She's just so sure of herself.