What I find so difficult is that the man I love is in absolute turmoil. Just checking that I have to keep DBing and there is nothing else I can do at this time to help him through his tunnel i.e for me to acknowledge that he is in a bad place at the moment?
NOTHING else you can do for the moment; best thing you can do is leave it be and just watch And it ain't over yet, LA...validation, understanding, patience, getting on with your life, not getting sucked in by his drama....all these things are important for YOU to learn. As for him, as he needs NO interference of any sort...just a friend at the edges of this who is supportive when he needs that.
Time is a factor..and quite honestly, tunnel dweller doesn't care if you understand or dont' understand..he is still going to what he has to do when he has to do it.
It IS VERY painful to go through the tunnel....I made my journey through and have experienced the pain.
You find it difficult because he's in agony as you're watching him..and it's harder because you cannot do anything for him right now.
I remember getting to the place I never mentioned anything about what was going on...when he wanted to talk, he knew where to find me...and he did.
I'm really sorry you're suffering like this; LA..but this too, shall pass in time.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
