I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

Wise words flowmom!! I think we can all agree that the folks here - no matter which side they are on WA/LB - are here for the right reasons and we can all support each other in that. I think I speak for alot of us in saying this place helps keep us sane!!


Had a good session with IC. She's helping me deal with the hate. We've identified that the hate comes more from the fact that I'm being forced to give up the "big" things and that H is the one forcing that on me. It makes a huge difference to label those feelings and understand them. We talked alot about me turning around the negative thoughts about the big things - that I didn't cause the situation and I have lots of empowering things I can say about my behavior. I need to work on NOT stressing myself out by trying to figure out how I'm going to handle the rest of my life RIGHT NOW!!! We also identified that while I am doing SOME GAL - I'm not doing what I need to be doing to care for myself. That ends today. Time to get back to taking care of me and doing good things for my PMA. The upside is - I've slid back a little with the depression, which I could expect to happen so at least its out of the way. The super upside is the backslide lasted about 2 weeks and I saw it for what it was and I'm well on my way to fixing it. This has been a huge fear for me and clearly it doesn't need to be anymore. I know that as the sitch plays out there will be levels of grieving and as they hit me I don't have to worry about slipping back into denial and depression. I feel like I've dodged a land mine!

On the flip side - I kinda have a date like thing on Tues. I'm having dinner/ going dancing with a guy I know from my salsa class. He knows whats going on with me and I've been clear about my boundaries. It should be really really fun! I can't wait to try out the salsa moves! Score one for moving forward!

If I don't have to work tomorrow I'm spending the day relaxing!! I've been stressing myself out so much! I think I might schedule myself a little spa day in the next week - can't REALLY afford it - but I could really use the relaxation. Massage/manicure/pedicure seems appropriate! Plus my sis cleaned out all her old clothes - she doesn't fit anymore with the baby - and brought them over. She has good taste and most of them are in great shape. I just about doubled the size of my wardrobe for free! Now I don't have to buy any more until I get to my goals. She said she hasn't worn many of them in years! Lots of good classic pieces. I keep looking for the right spring purse too - haven't found it yet...

My dad helped me pickup the new counter-tops for my kitchen so next week the renovation should be wrapping up. I hope by March 1 to be done with everything - 4 months is long enough!!!


Well I had better get some work done. Have a great day everyone!!!


T