People have to do what works in their stitch. What was said to Song on his thread may or may not apply to another poster.

It makes it very hard to move back home once the man has left, but it is the right thing to do for many....especially if there are children. However, your stitch seems to be changing somewhat to your first few posts.

I thought you were saying how flirty she had been since you moved out. In fact, she was spending nights at your place and invited you to hers (for the night). That was why I said that she apparently liked pretending you weren't M.

Now, she has suddenly left without notice to you. Well she considers herself S from you and owes you no update on her activites. That was why she wanted her "space" to begin with. She feels like a single lady and is acting like one.

The more I read your thread, the less I see any positive action of moving back. This is why I say that.......you were advised to do that for your own self-respect, right? But what I am reading from you is how you want to march in there and hit her with boundaries about OM and start acting like the king of the castle. If you had acted more like that "before" you left, it might be different, but as I told you before....if you go back uninvited and come off as Mr. Tough Guy now, she will react like a demon from hell. You are not to be afraid of her anger, and that is not what I'm saying. I am asking you if this is what it would take for you to regain your self-respect and would it be worth starting from ground zero....b/c that is what will take palce. She will not be attracted to you b/c she will resent you barging back in, so that will take time to get past that. You will spend valuable time with her fighting you tooh & nail and having so much anger toward you for "invading" her privacy (as she will think of it) and she will actually feel that you have no right to give any boundary. She will not think you have rights at all.

I personally think you should listen to your lawyer. Would it be worth S support and RO just to be able to go back into the home and verbally bash it out with her? That is just the picture I am getting from your emotions right now.

Remember the bottom line here is your self-respect. Can you regain that by moving forward and GAL without her?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!