Start of the end..

[BigJohn]

IWITW,

Just thought I'd pop in to see how you are doing. I like the goals you outlined a couple posts back- the relationship goals in particular caught my eye.

First off, you are absolutely worthy of a great R with the type of woman you want. Don't let your STBXW take that away from you or let this D define you as a man. I hate to see you struggle with feeling beneath your STBXW and unworthy of her because of all that has happened. It's not right. Speaking from experience, it's really the other way around- she does not deserve you. Please give yourself credit.

Secondly, a question: Have you checked out any of the online dating sites yet? If not, I suggest you start. When things were really bad last summer and it appeared that D was becoming a real possibility, I started visiting a couple sites to get acclimated and see what it was like being single again after almost 20 years. I never tried to get together with anyone but I did read quite a few profiles. What I have gotten out of the experience thus far is that there are a lot of quality women out there that are compatible with me, many of whom are also pretty but may not have all of the most desirable features I prefer (i.e. blue eyes but with brown hair instead of blonde). So my advice is to consider being a little more broad minded about who it is you are looking for- but not so much where you settle for someone just because you don't want to be alone.

It's late and time to sign off. Hang in there and I'll talk to you soon.