I would love to have someone give me a page number from any of Michelle or others' books that say that working on the marriage means that it has to be on our terms - that we need to be in control.
For every disease, there is a cure. The cures can't all be the same and the wrong cure for the disease can kill.
Yes, you need to make your decisions about your life. So what if he's directing right now? As long as you don't let him direct you where you don't accept going, why not?
My understanding, which could be wrong, is that GAL is about moving on and not becoming the person that no one could love, and instead becoming someone that you can love. If you can't love you, then how can someone else? I do not believe that GAL is about being in control.
Remember TTA, you've only been really working on this in a different way than the past for a month. You ARE GAL just fine even though he's been driving for much of this time.
For me, if I can't get myself to a place I feel close to my W, how much work, IC, sex, talk, games, etc, will get me to go there? I have to want to. So does your H.
Side note: choosing to give him the time he needs is a choice of yours, isn't it? So who really has the ball?
