Ladies and gentlemen...my distaste for my ex and OM has reached a new high tonight.
As I was putting D3 in bed tonight, she turns to me and says "I want (OM) to be my daddy". I asked her who told her to say that and she said "mommy".
I of course was devastated...ended up losing all composure and breaking down, texting my ex asking her how she could do this, etc etc. In my lost state I ended up asking her how she (my ex) could choose OM over me along with all the inappropriate begging and stuff. This went on for over two hours.
I now have a splitting headache, will probably get no sleep tonight, and I dont know what else.
I was never expecting something like this to come from D3...nor would I expect the ex to stoop to this level.
for your health. please take a break from the situation. 30, 45, 60 days of no contact and absolutely no thinking about whatshername will do you wonders. been there. living proof.
tell me what you are doing to move forward with your life. I will read.
custody papers were served to me today. my ex is seeking primary custody.
I'm so mad and upset right now...I cant see straight.
She said she did it instead of tlaking to me because I'm acting crazy. I told her to remeber that whatever happens in the next 6 months to a year with this, she had the power to stop it before it even started. I asked her how she thought D3 would feel some day when she turned 18 to find out that not only did my ex cheat on me but she left me to be with her lover and continues to hurt me on a regualr basis using D3 as a pawn.
Get to know your rights and see about getting custody for yourself. Your W is going to paint you as a psycho. So leave her alone and take care of what's best for your D.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Well, you ARE acting crazy and you still are. And I don't want to hear that your ex started it or she is acting crazy too because you can't control her (even though you tried).
Had you actually followed the advice and began the legal framework for joint custody WEEKS ago as it was suggested to you instead of doing all the crap you were doing maybe you would not be in this position.
STOP trying to reason with this woman because all it does is make you appear more unstable. Now that papers have been initiated it is MUCH easier for her to make your behavior an issue as the law is now involved. So stop.
You say your ex is using your daughter as a pawn but SO ARE YOU. You are asking your ex to consider how your daughter will feel when she is 18. How about worrying how your daughter will feel RIGHT NOW?
You both had the power to stop this before it started (this custody issue) and you both chose not to until the sh*t hit the fan. And part of the reason the sh*t hit the fan was YOU. Stop. Right now.
Contact an attny, get a better C, get your child in C'ing and find out what you *can* do other than saying how disgusted you are and trying to talk to you ex.
You had some of the BEST people on this site spelling it ALL OUT for you and you chose not to do one thing that may have been a huge aid in avoiding this situation. It is beyond frustrating especially when you knew darn well if you continued on the path you CHOSE to stay on, your daughter could be at stake.
Had you actually followed the advice and began the legal framework for joint custody WEEKS ago as it was suggested to you instead of doing all the crap you were doing maybe you would not be in this position.
That's true. The only reason I didnt start it weeks ago was because I didnt want to make my ex mad or hurt her...I was still under the impression that she would change her mind.
I'm sorry I didnt listen. Of course the good thing about this is once its settled then it's not as if I have to worry about custody anymore.
nsw: you have rights, my friend. the fact that you've been served doesn't mean she's going to get what she's praying for.
city girl is absolutely right. it's time for you (me too) to stand up and take control of ourselves for the benefit of our kids.
my kids are 13.5 and 15. yours is 3. that makes your position even more important than mine (my kids are already clued in to the fact that their mom has some problems).
seriously, this child needs you in the years to come to serve as a stable, rational provider and role-model. she needs to see you as often as possible. she needs your love. she doesn't need you dropping the ball and ending up with one weekend a month.
her mother has too many issues for you to concern yourself with. let her new middle-age pimp daddy pay for her psychoanalysis and kiss her ass. your primary concern right now is your little girl and you start taking care of her by looking after yourself properly.
as for the new boyfriend, my guess is that your wife's antics will grow tiresome to him in a very short time, and she'll be back on your porch crying anyhow. she's just an object to him, get it? from what i read, he doesn't have too much in the way of genuine feelings for her. let it go. it'll work itself out, or it won't. either way it ain't your problem any more.
peace m8
M:40 W:40 2 teenagers ILYBNILWY: 09 January 2010 soon to be walking away my situation
No way. I'm supposed to meet with a L on Tuesday. I was scheduled to meet with the L next friday, as I was gonna serve her, but when I got served today I moved the meeting up to asap.
It's interesting in a sad way...in our R, I've said here that eventually I probably would have become the WAS had my ex not beat me to it, and now I was gonna file for custody and have her served but again she beat me to it.
Apparently she had her L file the papers on Feb 10th and all the time sicne then she's acting towards me, offering me doughnuts and telling me to contact her if I need soemthing.
I realize that she probabyl did coach D3 to say she wanted OM to be her daddy. Everything that they've been doing together over the past few weeks, family time and whatnot, and all the redecorating and whatnot over at her dads house, was probably for custody purposes.
As I said she's been trying to provoke me to get ammo to do this...and she succeeded to a degree.
It's funny...I was in my IC's waiting room today before my appointment, and my ex calls to tell me that D3 got a fish.
My IC was like "that wasnt a necessary call...why would she do that is she didnt want to talk to you". He estimated it might be to keep me at arms length until she's sure things with OM will work out.
I'm thinking it was to provoke me just like all the other stuff. D3 getting a pet/fish was something we didnt give consideration to during our R, and now that my ex is over there she went and got her one. And it worked...essentially she's trying to build what the courts would see as a suitable/proper environment for D3 to overshadow the home we have.
interesting enough my ex just called to let me say goodnight to D3. I guess until we go to court she may be minding her p's and q's better...something I must do as well.
Originally Posted By: crushed_v95
her mother has too many issues for you to concern yourself with. let her new middle-age pimp daddy pay for her psychoanalysis and kiss her ass.
crushed...you made me smile again. first time I've really done that today.
thank you to everyone who's offered me advice and support. as I said I'm sorry I didnt listen and back off of my ex, and I acknowledge my pursuing has lead to this.
I'm wondering if I need to do a bunch of stuff to make the house look even better over my ex's dads. dont court appointed social workers usually come to visit the homes where children will be staying? I could paint her room...even get her a hampster or something.
Anyone here been through a custody battle have any tips for making ones home look like the better option...aside from keeping it tidy and whatnot.
