Di - That really sucks!!! Yes, I am lucky that he's still at home, but it does make it a little more volatile sometimes!!! He works out of town most of the work week, so that helps... a little distance!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The last time I tried to initiate was the last night he spent in our bed..........moved to the couch----talk about a kick for someone that was already pretty low on herself!
Ouch!
Yeah----and it still took me some time to realize that OW was in the picture.........
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
and YES mind, I WILL hold you to that!!! how many are you REALLY drinking? and lets just say, I've been on my pastor's wife on her vice, 8+ diet cokes a day! she's drinking my energy drinks now, at least they have a natural caffeine and no sugar.
[quote=TCBTE](The last time I tried to initiate was the last night he spent in our bed..........moved to the couch----talk about a kick for someone that was already pretty low on herself!)[quote]
this does happen. my H did reject me as well, not in a mean way, but just said it's not a good idea. But, it's not the rejection that the bad thing, it's how we REACT to it. I truly believe that my initiating was a turning point for our sitch. But I made sure that I didn't react (towards him that is) depressed or disappointed or hurt. I pretended to act like, well, aint that too bad for you cause I'm the best thing there is! However, if you allow the rejection to hurt you and get the best of you, that can cause an even worse problem in the sitch. Don't let our WAS's measure our self worth! We ARE Worthy!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
There was a flier stuck in my door the other day. It was promoting a Zumba class. Think I will try it. Running just isn't my thing.
Oh and on the initiating thing. You are never going to know how he will react unless you try. Walking around naked might be just a little top obvious. What about trying something a little more subtle? Start with a back rub maybe?
ST is right. Be prepared for all possible reactions.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
MF, I think S.T. is right on the money about this. I would think you probably would get rejected the first few times you initiate simply because it has been so long and it's going to be awkward for H. But how you handle it will put him more at ease for the next time and the next until he's ready.
Use a playful come on, and then if he declines you say, That's ok, if you don't want to join me I can take care of myself, wink at him, then go into the bedroom and close the door. And then you get out the upgrade!
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
