Why do you need to call him? You have legal and physical custody of your daughter, he has supervised visits. You do not have to tell him where you are going or what you are doing regardign supervision of your daughter. I have joint legal custody and primary physical custody of my children. I have no obligation to inform my X about their supervision when they are with me, and he does not have any obligation to me when they are with him. The only time it would be an issue is if either of us were putting the kids in danger, and the only way we could even find out is if the kids said anything, or we spied on each other. I don't think that my X has always provided proper supervision for the kids, but it really isn't my business, until I have reasonable belief that they are in danger. You have no obligation to say anything to your X unless it is part of your legal agreement.
AMEN!! And IF that happens, address it then and there without debate. But the worrying about something that MIGHT happen in the future is getting you nowhere and keeps you stuck....That's my point. And fyi, NONE of us knows that our kids are always safe but we take one day at a time and we KNOW what dealbreakers are (like endangering the kids) and that no matter how "angry" the WAS may become when we protect, so what? If our kids are in danger, we go into Mother Bear Mode (even if we're dads...)
Make sense? Just Live your life without so much fear. I feel like I've explained in fair detail how UNhealthy it is and how it isn't helping your sitch at all. Fear has kept you stuck for a long while and no matter what your reason is, it isn't good for you. I even wonder if the MGF were not in the picture, if you'd still be hanging on his every word and possible thought. I'm kind of glad he's with her so you can truly see who he is at this point. I know, it sucks. But the thing that's worse is when you can't see it clearly, which at least now you do.
Good luck, j-
PS I am not someone who fears being alone. In fact i value that time...but I saw a phrase the other day I really liked...here it is...
THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN BEING ALONE....IS WISHING YOU WERE...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
