First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

NH.

Wow. That was a long time ago. I think if you search for my threads (they were in the infidelity board), it would have been around the end of March, beginning of April 2008 time frame.

I'm paraphrasing here, but I basically sat down with them and said I've tried for so long to avoid telling them this because I still love their mother, but she has been having an affair for a year. Told them that I wouldn't accept them disrespecting her, she was their mother and she loves them very much, but that she just got caught up in something that I could no longer accept and that I was filing for divorce.

There's more, but that's the gist of it.

My S17 (15 at the time) already had figured it out. He was witness to W taking off for weekends to go see a "friend". He was witness to her staying out late, sneaking aroung, treating both me and him like chit. He was torn up inside because he knew what was going on, but couldn't say anything to me because what if he was wrong? My S21 (19 at the time) was away at school and didn't know what was going on beyond that we were having problems.

Ironically, it was S17 hearing it from me and his subsequent shreading of his mother for what she was doing, that ended the A for good (even though OM had moved on to a new GF 6 months prior, W still thought in her fogged out mind that when we divorced, OM would be waiting for her). It took a long time for her to get through the WD from OM and to reconnect with me, but here we are, marriage pretty much recovered, all thanks to S17 laying out what her life would be like if she didn't at least try to make it work with me. He basically told her if she truly tried to make it work with me and never talked to OM again, that he would accept us divorcing, but if she wouldn't at least give it an honest effort, he would never forgive her and she could forget about him spending any time with her and OM that he wasn't REQUIRED to spend.

Incidently, W still thinks I told the kids to hurt her (even though she's happy with the outcome and understands why I told them). I did nothing of the sort. W wanted us to tell the kids that we both thought it was for the best to D. I decided that my kids deserved to know the truth and that at least one parent was going to give it to them. I wanted my kids to know there was at least one parent who they could count on to be there for them through ANYTHING.

Like I said, give it a search and see what you come up with for that time frame.

Good luck.