Thanks for the clarification - I was not aware of that. Since it sounds like your ex-H does not and has not provided any support for Ryan's care then he doesn't really have much right to request anything, IMO at least.
Only other thought is are you able to determine what Ryan wants? How does he react to his father's visits? Are they a positive thing for him? Would he benefit at all from increased visits?
You must be a very strong woman. My mother cared for my younger brother who became severly disabled in his early twenties due to a massive stroke. I know how difficult it was for her both emotionally and physically.
