It sounds like she is maybe better suited for marriage counseling when both people are there.
What effort?
My brother told me that a marriage should be somewhat effortless. That is how his marriage is. The husband and wife should just know what makes each other happy. They should be able to communicate freely and easily with each other.
I still dont get your H's choices. It seems his job is #1. The kids are #2. And you are #3.
If you want to stay married, you are just going to have to accept that is who he is.
