We've basically had the same stupid sex cycle for the past decade. He seems happy with every other week when I want it every night. After a few days of hinting, I start asking and getting told "No", "stop" etc. Often the pattern breaks after I completely bawl or blow-up. I'm sick of the cycle. Speaking of cycles - I was promised sex tonite after asking for it constantly for the past 2 weeks (dwell much? sigh) and of course, I start bleeding.
Dear HDWife, The story you told of the little girl skipping away so brilliantly sums up the stories I have heard from other HD women. Thank you for sharing that with us. After your story, you also asked a profound question about breaking the cycle of asking for sex that you have with your husband. (I will attempt to insert the comment here, but as a newbie to this board, I might mess it up!!)
As a Coach who regularly implements the strategies that Michele Weiner Davis discusses in her books, my clients have found success in “doing a 180”, meaning doing the opposite of what they are currently doing. As such, please bear with me as I ask a couple questions.
First, what would happen if you stopped asking your husband for sex all together? That would look like no hinting, no mention, no advances, nothing. Secondly, what if you combined that 180 strategy with the GAL strategy? Meaning, you not only stop asking, but then you go about your life in a happy and contented manner. Perhaps you could pick up a hobby, spend extra time having coffee with a girlfriend, take a professional development course, etc.
As such, you would be interrupting the cycle that the two of you have created, which will force a different reaction. As you monitor the reactions over time, you might get different results.
I hope this is an encouragement to you! I look forward to hearing more of your journey!
