Hey Maple, Piecing is really hard! It's where most of us hope we will end up when we find ourselves in these sitches, but when we get here we realize it is harder than we ever could have imagined.
I don't have any magic answers for you because I am struggling through similar emotions...
But, what I am learning is that we can only control our part in the M and it is essential to push past the fear and speak up. What is there to lose at this point? Right? We almost lost our H's already, had to look into the face of that fear and deal with it. We got strong enough to confront an A, set boundaries and take our H's back within conditions that were acceptable to us... that takes courage, my friend! So, now when in piecing, where does that courage go? I have asked myself that question.
Remember how strong you were when you confronted the A? When you had to make difficult decisions about what you were going to do for you and the kids? Pull up that courage within yourself again and approach your husband from a place of strength. You are worth it.
I know this time of facing the fears and insecurities of "will this happen to me again?" hurts so bad. I know. Acknowledge that you are in pain. And it is valid pain. Then, pluck up your courage and speak up... not in mean or harsh tones, but firmly and calmly.
If you have accomplished all that you have so far, you can do this too.
