mb sorry if you get overwhelmed with so much advice!!!!
Last edited by newmama; 02/17/1011:39 PM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
It's ok, I welcome all the advice, even if I don't follow it all the time.
Almost time for bed, and first day in a long time with NC with H. It was mostly nice not having no drama moments. However, towards the end of the night, I start wondering what he's up too and who he is with )-:
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
I am quite confident the romance is over... Its just a big emotional mess right now and they are just wondering who knows what and how much now... And what to do... They are both I imagine quite scared and confused... maybe in a bit of shock as well.. reality can be a bitch.
Rest easy, your children too are free from the drama... you are keeping your children safe, that should be more than enough to put any proud mother to sleep
I am quite confident the romance is over... Its just a big emotional mess right now and they are just wondering who knows what and how much now... And what to do... They are both I imagine quite scared and confused... maybe in a bit of shock as well.. reality can be a bitch.
When it is time for bed, the sadness starts. Officially day 1 of NC and so far today none either all though it's early still. I don't plan on contacting him today, so we'll see if he try's to contact me.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
mb28, don't focus on the NC, focus on enjoying your life and your time with your children
The idea of NC is to DETACH from the drama that's making you ill, not to count down the hours.. that just means you are still focussed on that drama.. the purpose is to FOCUS elsewhere... you need to keep busy.
I do understand its hard, but focussing on thier drama while in NC is not getting you the benefits that NC can offer...
Enjoy your children and your freedom from that crazy world... call a friend and do something fun to take your mind off it... don't sit at home and watch the clock... if you DO that then when he DOES try to call you will jump to pick it up... we don't want that... we want you SO BUSY you don't have TIME to deal with him... We want him to think you are NOT at his beck and call for coddling and support...
mb28, don't focus on the NC, focus on enjoying your life and your time with your children
The idea of NC is to DETACH from the drama that's making you ill, not to count down the hours.. that just means you are still focussed on that drama.. the purpose is to FOCUS elsewhere... you need to keep busy.
I do understand its hard, but focussing on thier drama while in NC is not getting you the benefits that NC can offer...
Enjoy your children and your freedom from that crazy world... call a friend and do something fun to take your mind off it... don't sit at home and watch the clock... if you DO that then when he DOES try to call you will jump to pick it up... we don't want that... we want you SO BUSY you don't have TIME to deal with him... We want him to think you are NOT at his beck and call for coddling and support...
