(Why doesn't he initiate any time w/me, like he does them? Why am I the one left out when he's home? Why me?)
ASK - Ask, seek and knock. Ask any of the LBHs if they would have loved to know this? There is a great business book called Crucial Conversationsthat deals with how to have these dialouges. Simple rule to improve communication: If something is bothering you then it is your responsiblity to bring it up. Try it.
Good for you on taking care of yourself. I gave up alcohol for Lent. Talk to me in two weeks.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
MIND... YOU ROCK!!! I am very inspired by your post. Such great choices you have been making and now you are seeing the benefits. I am realizing I need to do that too... get the focus back on me and what I can do for me. For Lent, instead of giving something up (I've lost enough this past year) I am giving to myself... a simple, kindness or GAL activity every day.
This past week or so, I've started to take back control of me and my (alone time) mood. So, I started tanning (for some warmth and light), and I've been more conscious of putting more live fruits and veggies in, have taken up this (MF version) of running, and walking in between. I am making sure I'm not wallowing in my self-deprecation, and am getting up, and OUT a bit more. good good and good!!! I still had a bit of a boohoo moment last night, but I came out of it quickly. H was home for the night, and helped w/the driving of the boys to sports practices. We were all home about the same time, and I made dinner (took about 45 min), and I was in the kitchen, just a little "alone" as H was with the boys upstairs playing video games, and here I was starting to feel like I was suffering alone... Then, we had a nice dinner, with everyone having a good time, and after clean-up H and the boys head to S10's room (close to ours w/a great tv) and they're watching snowboarding (our family loves it). I just felt "alone" again. So, I went in, and watched a bit with them, and something triggered "alone" sadness again. Before they could see it in my eyes, I left, and went into our room, and had a good little cry. (Why doesn't he initiate any time w/me, like he does them? Why am I the one left out when he's home? Why me?) Well, enough of the boohoo. I said a little prayer... Thanked God for a H that loves his kids like he does, and thanked God for my boys, and admitted that they need this connection w/Dad as much, if not more, than me, since he travels so much... And, lastly, I asked God to help w/this grief, and feeling of loneliness. I LOVE this, you were able to look at the positives, and those are really good positives and then look at what happened! God granted a small blessing for your faithfulness
Within three minutes, H was in our room, checking on what I was doing, helping me w/some online stuff for the dinner auction I work on, and wanting me to see some of the snowboarding (they were starting their second runs). The boys kept coming in and interrupting, and finally, H says, "Now come on guys, do you have to keep coming in and being loud and interrupting? Go find something to do." They went off and did their homework. And, moment turned around.
I'm getting better. Still not naked, but better! LoL
So get naked! lol
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Yeah what would happen if you called your H into the room and you were lying in bed in some kind of neglige or were just...naked?
Are you worried about feeling rejected? I understand that fear. But when was the last time you initiated?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
lol