Would I be alone in thinking that it's a bit childish to have to go behind the scenes and shut off her access to internet, rather than just coming right out and telling her that you are no longer providing internet if she's going to use it to conduct her extra-marital affair?
Just seems an awful lot like playing games. And it doesn't speak "being a man" to me.
bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I agree Bworl, when she asks, I would respond, "I have decided that I will not tolerate my wife speaking with OM in my house, I have too much self respect for that to happen"
I agree Bworl, when she asks, I would respond, "I have decided that I will not tolerate my wife speaking with OM in my house, I have too much self respect for that to happen"
Burt
Yep -- me too. Just like exposure and the cutting of enabling finances, you OWN it.
i'm not hiding it when she figures it out. i'm just not going to say out right to her i'm cutting off your internet. it will take a while for her to figure out, and each day that passes is more time to think about these poor decisions, not to say that without him she would be jumping back into my arms, but atleast some rational thought would be in play.
the same as if i find out a face to face meeting, i will arrange an "interruption" text, phone call, friend stopping by to say hi.
i'm not just going to sit back and know it's happening.
on a positive note a very cute girl and i flirted some today. we had a long walk to our cars and she said we should go out sometime. I can't even describe how alive that made me feel. mostly that i wanted to go out sometime.
M=37 W=40 Married=10,T=12 D=10 D=8 WAW Bomb=1/12 EA confirmed=1/13 EA exposed=1/27 Current In house separation
So you've chosen to RE-act to everything rather than be PRO-active. Basically that means that she dictates what happens for YOU.
That's not being a man.
You want her to be responsible for all YOUR problems. Sorry, you don't get to do that. YOU are responsible for YOUR condition. Regardless of what she has done or is doing, YOU are responsible for YOUR condition.
Quit being her parent ans start being her husband.
I'd rather have you going all hardcore telling her to get out, than have you sneaking around behind her back, cutting off her internet and making it look like a computer problem, and not being man enough to just walk up to her and tell her that it's going to stop.
You're not learning anything here.
This is still about her.
THAT should concern you.
If you don't do anything else during this crappy time, you could at least become a better person, a better man.
I see the same "base every decision and action on my wife" man that first posted here. Take a look down....yeah, down "there"....it's time to find your nuts again.
Oh, and as for the flirting girl deal... it always pisses me off when someone gets on here and bitches about a cheating spouse, then in the next breath starts talking about some hotty that they'd like to pursue.
Could we deal with one crisis at a time at least?
MAN T F UP.....
Bill
Last edited by Bworl; 02/18/1011:03 AM.
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
One of my side effects of having already traveled the wonderfully exciting waters of a lost marriage is that I have learned to speak what is on my mind, rather than swallow feelings that I am afraid might bother another.
I suppose it comes across as harsh or tactless sometimes.
The truth is that divorcebusting, or just marital crisis in general, tends to cause us all to do ridiculous things that we would NEVER otherwise do.
I hate to see folks on here acting in desperation, doing things that I know a year or so from now they will regret.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
i'm not hiding it when she figures it out. i'm just not going to say out right to her i'm cutting off your internet. it will take a while for her to figure out, and each day that passes is more time to think about these poor decisions, not to say that without him she would be jumping back into my arms, but atleast some rational thought would be in play.
Did it. Regretted it.
Originally Posted By: cannon
on a positive note a very cute girl and i flirted some today. we had a long walk to our cars and she said we should go out sometime. I can't even describe how alive that made me feel. mostly that i wanted to go out sometime.
