Yes. There is a lot I could say about her, but suffice to say that she did not treat my brother and I well when we were growing up. Think Joan Crawford. When K died, she was not listed in the obit (I may have told about this) so the psycho took out her own obit. Our mother was listed as his mother. K hated her.
I am not sure how I feel about her. Right now, I can tell you that the thought of her being on my birth certificate is almost physically nauseating. She kept me in therapy dealing with the abuse for almost three years. I spent a good portion of my twenties and thirties in what is known as a disassociative state because it was too hard for me to deal. I thought I had finally put all that behind me, and then the nightmares started, and this crap.
One time, one of the only times K allowed me to cry (he was a ball buster, and if I started lamenting about the SG he would inevitably make me laugh), I asked him what the hell was wrong with me, why I couldn't make a marriage work. Remember, this is my third.
K said he felt that the psycho had screwed us both up so badly that it would be a miracle if we were ever able to have a normal relationship.
My other brother, B, who is the psycho's son, has not spoken to her in more than 10 years because of the way she treated K and I when we were growing up, and also because the psycho was so hateful to his W. Out of the four kids, J being the youngest, J is the only one who still talks to her, and she is treading on thin ice with him now.
I guess I still harbor a lot of anger for her.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
