I think many of us can relate to your feelings of rage, hurt, anger and the general outrage we have all experienced.
The one thing that sort of stuck out to me is "divorce as punishment". IMO divorce should never be about punishment, especially when the proceedings are initiated by the LBS.
Trust me, if anybody knew some of the thoughts I had about my H during the thick of our situation I would either be in prison or a mental hospital (LOL!). I so understand how hurt you are and sometimes we simply are unable to see clearly when we are destroyed at our core.
So what can we do as LBS's to become "less destroyed"? I am not sure the answer is the same for everybody. Have you considered seeing a IC? Have you considered the seminar I FB'd you about?
Sometimes information (be in emotional information via a IC or legal information via a seminar/attny consult) can empower us to "do something different". Now I can't say what your "something different" will be but it may open up an avenue that you didn't realize existed.
