No code, I don't think anyone is telling you that you shouldn't have feelings about what is happening. what I do believe is being said is to slow down, look at what you can control, look at what you CAN do, not wish you could do and focus on that.

Your ex is a master at messing with you, your emotions and your kids. If you take yourself out of that equation and see what she is doing you will be better off and so will your kids. Don't try to get information(or ammunition) from them. Let them enjoy the time with you. Be that great Dad that we know you are. Take back control of your life by NOT reacting to your ex's craziness.

My thoughts are with you. Hugs, kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory