Running out of time.

[MHL]

CLV,

I have no idea what is happening in my W's OM sitches. Is there one, two or three or more or none? So happily ever after maybe an illusion. Can't concern myself with though.

Your right, you can't concern yourself with that. Easier said than done, I know. Lately, if I find myself imagining whether she is with OM or out or having the time of her life or whatever, I force myself to remember that she too has the waves of sadness and of lost dreams and hopes and all the same things that you do. It is just that she is self medicating with OM or going out or whatever and we all know that like any addicting substance, drugs, food, sex etc. the high starts to wear off. Now that she is "free" to indulge in the "medication" the highs will be shorter and shorter and I would be willing to bet that with time you will see something that indicates this.

We the LBS's need to medicate by making the real changes in ourselves that make us better people, better parents, and maybe one day better spouses whether it with our WAS's or not.

BTW, Congrats on the drinking thing. I enjoy a drink once or twice a week now but not like I used to. If I had to guess things like that seem easy compared with dealing with the "waves".

Have a great time with your kids tonight.

[Cie la vie]

MHL,

It has actually gotten easier to prevent thoughts of what the W is up to whether it is about OM or other issues since she moved out. It still isn't easy but it is easier.

It is just that she is self medicating with OM

I like this analogy seems well suited to the situation. I'm definitely interested to see what changes when her new lifestyle isn't so new anymore. I view our diverging approaches to singlehood to the classic turtle and hare story.

BTW, Congrats on the drinking thing. I enjoy a drink once or twice a week now but not like I used to. If I had to guess things like that seem easy compared with dealing with the "waves".

No question. I may have been a bit melodramatic with the waves comment above but staying dry hasn't been even the slighest bit difficult. I orginally planned on 180 days but hell I might take it out further.

I'm off to the see the kids. Have a good evening I'll be in touch.

[dwinter82]

CLV, the drinking thing is great. Way to go. Wish I could say the same.

Sorry, I did not mean to imply the happily ever after sitch for your W. I was referring to my soon to be ex. Right now my W is really putting on a show for the OM. She is doing things for the kids she has never done before or in very limited quantity. At some point in time the show will end and reality will hit. That is when things will get interesting. I suspect the same for your W and sitch.

Have a great day!

[Cie la vie]

DW,

No worries on the "happily" thing I didn't take that the wrong way at all. Hell my W may have gotten engaged over the weekend for all I know.

I have a question for you. What do you know about this OM? I know a little about my W' OM's(and there may be more)one is divorced and the other is in the process of D. I have to believe that it is going to be a tall order for my W to find a man who is going to be interested in a long term arrangement with a woman in her late 40's with young twins. This scenario will work against me as well when the time comes to start looking at OW. The playing field has to be awfully small under these conditions.

I broke a rule of mine yesterday and popped into my W's FB page. She commented to someone that she is "Enjoying my life...Looking forward to what lies ahead!" As far as I can tell all she does these days is exercise, spend money, text message, talk on the phone and FB. I guess being unemployed and destroying your financial future is enjoying life. Go figure.

At some point in time the show will end and reality will hit.

I have to believe this will occur and it will be interesting to see what the fall out will be. I want to be as far from the debris field as possible when she crashes to earth (if she does at all).

CLV, the drinking thing is great. Way to go. Wish I could say the same.

Thanks DW. I'm pretty proud of it. I was talking to my "Best Man" yesterday and he mentioned that he hasn't gone that long with out a drink since he was 15 and the same is true for me. I've shut it down for lent a few times over the years but this is a personal best.

Have a great day!

You do the same man!

[dwinter82]

To answer your question about my W's OM, I know he is 11 years younger, divorced, a former employee of my W and either a giant dirt bag or a turd wrapped in a layer of the same.

I question how he could be interested in my W (two kids, divorced and 11 years older). Being his former boss, I am guessing he worships the ground she walks on, and she is loving every minute of it. He probably makes her feel younger or something...who knows. Their R is something I will never be able to get my hands around, so I am no longer trying.

I guess at the end of the day, no one likes to be alone and if you love someone, you love them, end of story.

[Cie la vie]

Anybody who would put themselves between a married couple with children and the spouse who is party to it are both dirt bags. Period.

I question how he could be interested in my W (two kids, divorced and 11 years older).

I'd say the odds are pretty good that R won't work long term but that isn't any
consolation when it costs us our M's.

On different note. I have been NC/Dark with my STBX and I just received two text messages from her. She apologized about the confusion around a set of my keys she inadvertantly took with her to her new apt. Should I ignore it or respond with a simple "thank you no problem" kind of response. My feeling is if I don't respond it may come off as me being bitter. Any thoughts?

[dwinter82]

I was reading up on "going dark" in in one of the other forums. They mentioned they only responded to 1 out of every 3 emails or so. Personally, that seems a little silly. I would not over think it...what ever is comfortable. Maybe reply with "no problem" or "no worries".

Have a good weekend.

[Cie la vie]

DW,

"no worries". This is exactly what I responded with. I thought asking the question here might have been over thinking it and I went ahead and responded.

Thanks for responding.

Have a good weekend as well.

[MHL]

CLV,
In the beginning and even some today my W plays a game of, "I didn't get that text." I try not to stoop to her level and not respond, I just wait like 20 to 30 minutes, usually just long enough to put a question mark in their mind but not piss them off. All that crap passes with time.

[dwinter82]

CLV, how's it going?

I went mountain biking yesterday, crashed, and broke two ribs...fun!!