No longer sitting on the fence

[flowmom]

Big hugs to you Mo3. I can totally relate...my children are my #1 reason to DB. I want to be able to truthfully tell them that I pulled out all the stops to keep us as an intact family. I really believe that an imperfect M and an intact family is best for my children.

It's really disappointing to hear how the preschool handled the situation with your son. My friend's child in preschool has aggression problems, that they really worked with her and her child to make it work for him. He has extra attention in the class and they keep the lines of communication open and problem-solve as necessary. "Zero tolerance" isn't the right way to deal with a child who is struggling in a situation.

I don't know if it's any consolation, but four year olds can be really tough! Many "normal" children don't outgrow aggression until about age 5.

Also, some children are more sensitive than others. My D3.5 is definitely showing the stress of the separation and has been shouting, hitting, and sulking a lot. I think that she takes it more personally than S6, because she has no way of rationalizing her papa moving out. It breaks my heart. I'm trying to figure out whether to get help for her. She's so little. S6 is in art therapy (and loves it) so I will consider that for her too.

Anyway, wishing you lots of strength. I'm with you on the path of trying to DB "by the book" and with the support of a coach. The input that I'm getting is to be very soft and somewhat indirect in my communication...counterintuitive!