having some second thoughts about job...

[kjensen]

Hey Doc,
You've got a lot to contemplate and figure out. Lots of opinions, mostly in unison.

Here's just some questions-for you to answer for yourself that might(hopeully) help you figure out which direction you want to head...

What is our best childhood memory and why? What is or worst?

Why did you become a doctor? Then why specialize in cardiac surgery? When you were in med school, residency..how did you picture your future...why that future?

Why did you marry your wife? How did you see your future with her? When the boys were born, what hopes did you have for them? Where do you fit in making those hopes come true?

My thoughts..Cardiology is one of those revered specialties in medicine because you literally save lives. The cardiac meds are complex, the things that go wrong with hearts can be very complex..its a tough field which commands respect and sometimes adoration from patients and other medical personnel. YOU are in charge in that bubble. YOU run the show.

If you are used to that arena, then its really uncomfortable to feel like you have NO control(even though you do have quite a bit) in your 'everyday' world. Its scary to feel that. Its easy to get in a self-preservation mode when that uncomfortableness persists, but it may not be the best or only way to become more comfortable and at-ease.

The lessons are there. To be humble, to let others share in the control, to not be the Lead man...to put others first. To love yourself without other's adoration..To be fully present in the lives of your family when that wasn't the model you grew up with. There are so many things you could learn from this and you don't have to change everything to do it-it all starts with a decision of how you are going to see the world, how you are going to treat people, how you are going to think and speak in the world. What energy you put out there.

Its pretty exciting to see all the possibilities...

Reading a good book that Walking mentionned in a post: Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life.
Worth checking out I think..definitely not typical 'western medicine' thinking..good food for thought!