feel like giving up - talk to me!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

but luv, what your not getting is that what he is doing is by the book! this is what they do! that is why Michelle has written this great book and for those that take heed and really learn, many of them find themselves in a greater M than before.

but those that do don't do it in a week, or a month, it takes months and sometimes years. for me, from the beggining of the A to the very very end of it, it was almost a year exactly. from when it started to when he wanted me back for sure, was about 6 months.

I am not giving your H credit, I am trying to get you to reward good behavior. why is hanging out with you for 4 hours not a good thing???? and even if he was being selfish, he's wanted to do that with YOU. He didn't drop you off at home and leave and find someone else to go there with.

I know you think you can't see hope, but I see a HUGE amount. I've been there and done it, both sides. you don't need a ton of things your H is doing right in order to have hope. there was nothing my H was giving me at one time. He had NO love for me, but I had a vision, and that vision was to save my M, and in the meantime I learned to save myself.

you know what my goal was to see if my H was coming around? for him to look at me. for him to ask what am I doing, or where am I going. for him to stay home for dinner instead of go to his friends house to spend the night.

how long did it take for those things to happen? not in a day, not in a week.

I can't fix this all by myself there has to be TWO people working in a marriage.

you have to stop your negativity. this is why you cannot succeed because you believe you won't. and no it does NOT take two people to fix your M. I know. I did it all by myself.

and YOU CAN TOO.

[luvless]

I am humbled by your response ST -

I know you did this all by yourself because you are darn good person. I don't think I'm capable of doing ALL the work without resentment. I WANT to...but I don't know if I can.

You are right I've been negative because I've been knocked down for 3 months and it's pissin me off royally.

Thank you for your time and effort. I am grateful!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I don't think I'm capable of doing ALL the work without resentment. I WANT to...but I don't know if I can.

that's why you need to start taking away the negativity by GALing and focusing on yourself and focusing on only positive things.

and I know your a christian, and you need to focus on HIM. Look at your H with God's eyes, not your own.

if you WANT to do this, then make a choice to step out and do it. just wanting to do it will get you nowhere, and you know that.

and hey, do you remember me saying I cheated on my H?? I never loved my H the way he needed it either, and instead of building him up, I pushed him down. so me, a darn good person? no, but I have a merciful God who has taught me a lot thru hardship and struggles.

NOW, yes, you've been knocked down, but do you have understanding of how your H has felt knocked down? It is looking at our spouse with God's eyes, merciful and with compassion and understanding that we can let go of our bitterness.

[luvless]

Wow ST - you are simply - amazing (blush)

You are truly blessed at heart.

[Gardener]

luv,

I can't fix this all by myself there has to be TWO people working in a marriage.

This is one of the premises - if not the premise - of DR. You Can do it yourself. You must. "It takes one to tango." Reread DR.

And if they can help even the slightest bit - and you don't mind me being presumptuous - take a look at the very few posts of the very few baby steps that I have taken against my NPA recently over in Soaring Solo at Surviving The Big D

[luvless]

started a new thread "feel like giving up pt 2"

thank u guys!