keep on keeping on, i guess that's what i'm doing my best to do. hadn't heard from my H all day and got an email at 10pm. started out asking me about work, then telling me he has to go to some work related event tomorrow, then ended by saying he'd seen his new counselor tonight, that he liked her and she'd asked a lot of questions and he was looking forward to seeing her again next week. then he said maybe we could meet up on saturday.

i know you all tell me not to read into everything, but when i saw him sunday he asked to see me again this week and was pretty highly emotional throughout the night. this email, while nice, seemed like he was in a different frame of mind. he didn't express any of the urgency to see me that he'd expressed on sunday, and i guess he totally forgot i'm moving to another apartment on saturday, so i can't and don't really feel like meeting up with him on the day i have to move out of my apartment because he wanted to separate.

i want to sound encouraging about his new counselor, but i'm not sure how to feel when it feels like he may have cooled off a bit. i also was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow but now i guess i won't, which i'm kind of bummed about. still. it was nice of him to even tell me how his session went, i guess, and he did start his email out my asking about me.

on another note, i had a great meeting tonight about my service trip and i'm really looking forward to being home for a week (i grew up in new orleans) and doing some volunteer work, making new friends, and seeking my own happiness and fulfillment.

Me30 H29
M2.5 T5
H moved out 1/23/2010
H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010
...feeling hopeless