And it sucks that your H has OW sister to be L for him!
Take a look again, when you feel calmer, if your L is really advocating for you or not. If not, is it possible to find another L?
I think a good L could take some of the stress of the details for you. It's what we pay them for! Yes, you have to be on top of it. Yes, you have to advocate for yourself. But you also deserve a L who won't be rushed or brusque, who takes the time to explain the details to you. I know they are L, not C, but they have dealt with enough broken marriages to know that you might need some TLC to go with the tough love.
I understand not wanting to feel "shrewish." But as I was just smacked around with a 2x4 for the same thing (see just want my husband back!) I turn it around to you--you are fighting for things you totally have a right to. Every penny of it. Having him pay for your L is a fine thing to ask for. You might not get it, but you can ask.
None of us wants to look back in a few years and say, darn, why didn't I fight for this or that? now that the emotions have cooled and the bills are due...perhaps I could have gotten a better deal.
Do you have a financially minded friend to talk some of this through with? It seems too hard to do on your own.
I hope you can MAKE the time to GAL. Even just a movie and a drink with a girlfriend. 3 hours of not thinking about the sitch. And then take maybe a few hours Sunday morning to deal with it.
