Dotty also thinks it is "only" an emotional affair, not PA, so I need to fill the void with W that I had not been doing for a while.
I can see how you would be confused. Maybe she didn't mean to empathize the "only" when she spoke of the EA.
Everyone is an individual and we do speak in general terms a lot. I can tell you how I personally felt as a AWAW and what I've read about others. But you have to see what actually "works" well with your own wife and what she responds to.
I was making my advice based on how she seem to use sex as some type of "power" or either on "her terms" and then it was back to treating you so badly. That is not the actions of a woman who respects her H. Whenever she doesn't show respect, I am a firm believer in pulling away from her and stop kissing up...hoping she'll be in a good mood.
You are putting yourself in a pressure cooker with this feeling like your time is running out. That is your nerves and you need to work out, go for long walk, running, climbing, boxing,....something like that to help control the anxiety. It could turn into panick attacks if you don't do something to let it out.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
