Exactly, that is why you have to start being proactive.
The courts don't give a rats ass about MC or anything else. What they want is a hardcore agreement put in place, on the oral record and ready to be signed. Get that to happen before another attny can add BS in the mix.
I wish you could talk to my attny. He is the nicest man in the world, not scary, an absolute whiz and quite simply a godsend.
From all I've seen in my life so far (and backed by reading sitches on this board) the answer to your question is a strong, resounding: YES.
But then again, this isn't always the case. Coach/Greek's situation wasn't nearly as bad, but from what I've read, it sounds like they took many wrong turns, too. Things they will regret doing, even if the outcome was positive in the end.
What is done is done. Don't stress it. Just don't repeat the same mistakes expecting different results.
OTMT Coach/Greeks sitch did NOT involve infidelity and love chemicals on the brain. This IS the case with Future and his W's obsession with the "ungettable" OM and the fantasy she has built in her mind. I like to call it "the poison apple" - once eaten it's difficult to get the toxins out of the system.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I like to call it "the poison apple" - once eaten it's difficult to get the toxins out of the system.
Great analogy! The infidelity is what makes Future's situation so much worse; thanks for pointing out that I wasn't clear enough. What I was hoping to suggest is that I believe we need to assume the best IF we want to work on our M, even as bleak as I think an affair makes it. If the other person screws up in response to our actions, and we still want to work on the M, then we need to change our actions the 2nd time round.
At the same time, we should look for the what ifs and prepare for the ones that would help meet our goals/needs (not necessarily theirs).
What I was hoping to suggest is that I believe we need to assume the best IF we want to work on our M, even as bleak as I think an affair makes it. If the other person screws up in response to our actions, and we still want to work on the M, then we need to change our actions the 2nd time round.
At the same time, we should look for the what ifs and prepare for the ones that would help meet our goals/needs (not necessarily theirs).
I'm sorry, but I don't even have a clue what this even MEANS.
I'll take a break from this dreary legal discussion, and say that playing at the open mic last night was awesome! The crowd dubbed me the hit of the night, and the other performers all came up to me and gave compliments. When I said I'd never sang into a microphone before, one guy said "I thought you were a pro who just came out tonight to have a little fun." Wow.
In other news, a certain woman made a point to show up as well, and I don't mean my estranged W. I met her a couple weeks ago, a friend of a friend. We hit it off, and she's managing to wiggle her way into my social circle. Hmmm...
I played "The Dance" by Garth Brooks, "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who, and "Heart of Gold" by Neil Young. I accompanied myself with acoustic guitar (my new Takamine, sounded great!), and harmonica for "Heart of Gold". They are all old standards I've been playing for years around campfires and such, so I thought I'd stay safe and stick to what I'm comfortable with. Managing the harmonica and the microphone during "Heart of Gold" was a pain, and flustered me a bit during that one.
There was a thread on here right before New Year's where people listed what goals they had for the new year. I posted and said I'd sing and play in a public setting. Check!
