By the way, their argument was over optimism vs. pessimism. S13 now advocates pessimism as the best way to protect himself from inevitable pain. Think optimism only leads to disappointment so why bother. Phew. Before our sitch, he was the most optimistic one.
WHOA! NO, NO, and, um NO!
Pick up a copy of "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. Optimism IS the way. Pessimism = depression.
And on the thing with the innocent friendship with the woman you hung out with this weekend, I agree with Gardener - take it easy on yourself. Nothing wrong with what you did or what you are feeling.
