You've been beaten enough for a day. So I'll try not too, but ...
Seriously, I raised two Eagle Scouts without being one. I had experiences I'd never have had if I weren't living with them - or very close by. Few boys do that without dad camping in the heat, cold, and rain with them all year. "If dad doesn't want to do it, maybe it isn't important enough for me to do it" Is it important to be an Eagle Scout? Maybe not. It is important to succeed in a favorite sport or hobby while your Dad is watching. They want their Dad to by their side and their Mom honestly wants that for them too. You want as much of that as you can get.
Your dad was raised by a grandad who didn't say I love you, or show it. It had to be 'understood'. So your dad did learn how, and couldn't teach you. We know you'll be the dad that can because you ask the right questions and then listen to understand. Many of our dads would now be thought to have NPDisorders. What they didn't know hurt us and their M relations, even if they stayed together. We have to learn to change these things in our generation, and our kids generation for their sake if not ours.
First page of chapter one Men From Mars ~ Women From Venus starts by talking to the men. Why? Why start out talking to the men in a book sold mostly to women? Women wish their man would read it. But they buy it to learn why we're broken and how to fix us; or at least tolerate and compensate for our inabilities. Chapter one explains our dads and grandads were from depression and post-depression years when they only had to be good providers. That was their job. It was Mom's job to show affection and run the house. I bought my grown sons a copy of Mars~Venus and apologized for not knowing how to teach them so much that is in the book. I apologized for harm I may have caused their parents M. I've given Michele's CDs to a couple who restored their M. We can all learn and grow if we want to.
I wasn't a skilled doctor. I was a workaholic who managed to change and spend time with my young sons. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm fortunate I didn't have to decide between them and a major med career. You really are in a lousy situation and I don't want to discount your investment in cardio. Some dads worked their career tail off and rarely saw their family right up until Wall Street crashed and they lost their homes. Does your work steal family time? If you and your W get back together where you belong, will you be there for her at the end of her tough day? Will you be able to help make dinner and chat about distractions from work? Will you teach your sons how to be that kind of man?
Ask the ladies what attracts them. After they notice your awsome good looks and cologne or car, do they wonder whether you can give them affection, provide security, and ... be a good father to their kids? Deciding how you can be a caring affectionate provider and father to your sons is up to you. She will see you choose, but don't decide on her account. You can be #1 dad with or without her. If she chooses another path you'll still be #1 to your sons. My sons know my M failed - and that I was always right there for them, and always will be.
