Next steps

[avermont]

The computer ran out of juice just as I barely finished posting.

Tonight's episode was just so weird. Really, I felt strong enough and cool enough to pull it off. My demo is real enough--but there really isn't a NEW Aver to demo--I'm me: funny, thinking about practical matters, helping to organize the show.

The things I am working on, and practiced in my head all day, for the production team as a whole, not just to "demo" to him:

Be more patient. Listen more. Don't push my "this is how it should work" too hard. (sorry, but I do this for a living and it is easy for me; hard to watch others struggle when I know how to get it done). Listen more. Support others input more.

Really, to hear that he doesn't have the balls (hadn't had a chance to think it through and think of it that way) to work on this project with me--just more of the cowardice that led to the not talking about problems/WAH.

Yes, I am doing the play for me and my community. Too bad if he thought he could do the lights and never interact with the set designer.

I know detaching is not being concerned about him. Spent all day reviewing how relatively calm I felt about it. Relatively not too concerned about what he would say/do. Just wasn't expecting him to wimp out!

Sorry for long post--still vibrating here, not down off the anxiety. Oh--and then the rescue tones went off, and so I had the adrenaline juice of that. Sleep will be awhile in coming tonight!

Thanks so much for responding.