Just want my H back

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks Talia,
I am thinking I might start this process before I leave; I don't think I want to drag it out that long. I am tired of being at his whim for everything. There is no M here and there has not been for a long time. And yet that final step is still a tad daunting, but as my IC said, sometimes you just need to jump!

The wheels are in motion for my move and while it's bittersweet, it's the right call for me. I know he’s waiting for me to take action, and I’m really kind of just wanting to get on with my life at this point. I know that can be done without final signage, but I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable and holding on to false comfort. I am trying to do what’s right for me (still feeling that out but getting closer) and also perhaps the strongest tough love/agreeing to divorce amicably approach per earlier emails. {sometimes they seem a little contradictory, but i know they should not be].

It boggles my mind how he continues to do nothing, though, even when I fully agreed to D over lunch. So I was going to send him this email, mainly b/c he's got to get his random stuff out of the apt, and I want to agree on tuition payment and also let him know I answered necessary legal questions. What do you think of:

H,

Are you planning to come by next weekend to get whatever remaining things you want at the apt? What do you want to do with your dresser and closet of stuff?

Also, I wanted to let you know that I did speak with the lawyer about the financial question you had and he said we did both need to fill out the financial long forms. Also he said it would be a good idea to agree on the timing of tuition payment – ideally in writing – so we’re both on the same page. The total amount was $X. Would you prefer to break that up ½ this year and ½ next, or Xk this year, Xk next? Would June of each year be reasonable for you?

Hope work and everything else is going well. Kindly, h
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My goal is to keep this amicable but also lay out what I think is reasonable. I feel like it might officially then start the process (legally, the paperwork, of moving towards D), but if we're going down this path anyway... and as Pearl and 25 have voiced before "you move on" either way...it will not impede potential for reconcil if it exists, and if it does not, you're in a better place anyway. I am starting to grasp this more and more...so no harm in sending this?

Thanks all, and peace. There is a silver lining to all of this..I have met so many new and interesting people and I am having fun again. Just need to get through this big move, and move on...

xoxo hhh

Perfectly written. You are getting it...No more "paralysis by analysis"... but More "GAL in CAL!"

j-