I am So Proud of You! You did exactly the right thing. You calmed your daughter and took the crazy STBX out of the picture. Once we get over them, we usually find ourselves in a place where we don't want to fight. Once we do that, and know that our kids' lives get much easier. A car is so important to a teen. It's their freedom. So taking it away is her way of taking freedom. It hurts them, not her. Makes no sense to me. Why would she want to do that?
The car is hers. She essentially told your daughter that. She wields the power. But you also have some power. Do I think it's stupid of her to make your daughter's life miserable so she can show how powerful she is? YES. Does your daughter? Probably. Your power is being able to diffuse the situation by telling your daughter that you'll take her and pick her up. Problem solved. I'll bet your STBX is fuming. I say that only because I can't imagine a parent of a teen doing what she did. It's really, really stupid.
FL, one day your daughter will buy her own car and her mother will not be able to tell her what she can and cannot do with it. Plus your daughter will always remember now. She will remember how your reacted and how her mother did.
My oldest son sometimes wants to talk to me about things his father once did. I always listen but never talk badly about him. The X never cared really for the son he should have protected and cared for- he only cared about his own anger. He ended up having a son that does not wish to see, not want to talk to, his father. That is sad, but that is what people who are hateful get.
FL, I get a phone call at least once a week from my CG son in Hawaii. Every time, he says "Hey Mama - How ya doing?" On his way to work to go out on the boat at 5 am he thinks about me. He puts in 18 hour days at least 6 days a week and I get those calls faithfully. That is justice. That tells me that I did the right things and it tells me how important it is to just love them and let them know that we do.
