I really feel like some of the things that you all have said have stuck.
I do not feel like a victim so much which is good. I feel responsible to some extent to where I am in life... or all of it. Not sure.
I realize I have not been a father. My kids have been like pets, or ornaments, or something to me. That is a combination, by my assessment, of me, my path, and other factors.
so I feel like my perspective has shifed. One is that I am not so much a victim. two is that I need to man up and stop being such a simpering whatever...and third I need to start thinking about how I can focus on my kids more and try and be a father to them.. something I haven't done yet.
so we will see how the next few days goes. fri I head up to the fam's town. MC on friday.. then the weekend there....
