Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Update/ advice needed.

W and I set a time to meet this weekend to discuss selling house, selling car, dividing our things, etc. The meeting is just the two of us and her father will not be there (W originally demanded her father be at meeting for her comfort level).

I texted W today to remind her that our car insurance payment is due and she needed to pay it since she took the money from our joint bank account. W is still on our car insurance policy but I have the car. Until we sell the car we both must be on insurance.

W left me a voice mail today that she wasn't going to pay for car insurance because I'm the one driving it and she no longer considers it a joint debt. She said she discussed this with me last month. Um, no, she didn't. She left me a message last month that we needed to discuss the car but never anything about who pays the insurance...by the way she paid it last month. I have no problem with paying the insurance myself once she is taken off the policy but that cannot happen until she is off the title of the car so we need to either sell it or I buy it from her. She wants to sell it to me for $1. Well that's great considering we owe $3,000 more for the car than what it's worth. Why would I want to buy and be responsible for the car with negative equity?

She tells me today in vm that she is "concerned" that I must pay the car insurance before she will meet with me this weekend. She also says that she wants to make sure that I have the same reasons for meeting this weekend to discuss dividing our things, house, etc. and for me to call her to let her know. I'm guessing she wants to make sure I don't think we are meeting to discuss our M. Yeah, I got that. Says that she doesn't want to text back and forth anymore because it doesn't give enough space to be able to discuss things so she wants to email or talk over phone. I guess she means after we meet. Since my computer broke I have not had my original email address. I do not want to give her my new email as I do not think we should be communicating by email, instead I think we should be meeting face to face or talking on the phone.

Anyway, I am absolutely fine with this meeting to divide our things, sell the house, figure out the car, etc. All of these things need to be done. I'm hoping that once this is done she might finally be able to relax and the healing process could begin. Since she left 4 months ago I think she has focused on this negative stuff. Once the negative stuff is dealt with then perhaps she will soften.

She was very cold and very "matter of fact" on her voice message she left me today. I think she is in fantasy land regarding the joint bills which she "feels" she is no longer responsible for however her name is still on these things with me. I have already taken my name off other joint bills with her.

I"m ok with the agenda for what needs to be discussed this weekend. I know what I am and am not willing to agree to. My question is how should I handle the conversation? Meaning do I try small talk about her life and how's she's doing? Do I share infromation with her about what I've been up to? Should I keep the conversation strictly business? Do I give her a hug when I see her?

I have been NC for the past 5-6 weeks unless she contacts me first about bills. At this point the NC doesn't seem as if it has softened her at all yet. I have done absolutely no pursuing, didn't send anything for V-Day either. I'm just trying to completely back off and leave her alone. I have been getting on with my life and doing things for me. Since this meeting is important I want to make sure I handle it correctly. I will remain calm, confident, etc. I will validate her if she becomes argumentative but will stand my ground. I will not engage in any relationship talk nor will I discuss the counseling she desires for her closure.

Any advice, observations, suggestions are welcome. I'm guessing her being cold with her voice mail about this meeting and the topics is to be expected. I keep telling myself that this is just a necessary step in the process of trying to save my M. She wants our things divided and that's fine with me as it's not so important to me to battle over this small stuff (material things) but instead to concentrate on my ultimate goal of reconciliation.