Actually, what I would do is give her the check and let her know this will be the last one. Tell her once she returns a formal agreement will be put in place and the support you have given her in the past will be factored in. Answer no more questions about it. If she calls/e-mails you about it while she is gone let her know that you have decided not to discuss this matter further until the formal agreement is implemented.
Future, I know it is hard but it is time. If you are living in the home and sharing custody of the children there is no reason to be paying her support without a formal agreement in place. She works and chose to leave and thus far she has had it pretty good with your financial support. Forget mediation, forget the counselor and get an attny to initiate a formal separation agreement. Your W didn't like the mediator because she knows she can't manipulate THE LAW hence the reason she wants back in counseling. She *can* manipulate you and the C so that is her plan I think.
Hi CityGirl! Welcome to my new thread.
Wow, you are good. I think you are dead on right, as far as my W's intentions. As far as the support goes, realize I've been paying her about the bare minimum any judge would possibly allow, but here in this state, that's not saying much. The child support rules here are insane. If I want a D, and if she wants to push it, she could get a LOT more money out of me. I could put more of our marital liabilities on her though. And of course there's the little thing about her having an A, abandoning our home, and leaving our kids with me for six weeks while she goes to be with OM. She'll say the trips to OM's country were for her work, but it won't look good for her either way.
I don't know, we are "this close" to having an agreement. I don't know if I want to bring in lawyers now and get everything thrown back up into the air. Just because she THINKS she can minupulate me doesn't mean she can. I've held my own in the negotiations just fine. In fact, she's the one who's been at the disadvantage, and our MC sees right through her BS, so she'll have no safe harbor there. I've decided I will go to the MC session, I have nothing to lose. Putting my W in a very defensive posture will not be to my benefit.
