Once, when my wife was getting dressed to go out at about 10pm on 4th of July (instead of staying home to shoot off fireworks with our boys, as was our family tradition), I just looked her square in the eye from about 2 feet away from her and said:
"I certainly hope you're not going out to be with your boyfriend. That would be incredibly disrespectful to our family on this holiday."
She looked right at me and lied, and that was okay, because I knew I had spoiled their fun anyway. They spent the entire 2 hours at the party they went to, fuming about what I had said! (this I know. . . )
Example #2:
When my GPS sent me an e-mail that my wife's car wasn't where she said she was going to be, I drove out to investigate, and found it parked in front of a rather large house, down by the river on a quiet cul-de-sac, with OM's P.O.S. pickup truck parked in the driveway (he lived with his parents, at age 29; this was a buddy of his' house). I drove down to the end of the street, after taking a few snapshots with the disposable camera I always kept at-the-ready, and I dialed my wife's cellphone. At first she didn't answer, but eventually, she did. I said "I hope it's worth it."
"What do you mean?" she asked, sounding nervous.
"All of it," I said. "I just hope it's worth it. Really. Have a good time."
"What in the hell are you talking about?" she demanded, now sounding REALLY nervous.
"I know where you are, and what you're doing," I said calmly. I just hope it's all worth the 30 minutes of fun for you." And then I hung up.
They spent the next hour arguing about how I had known where they were (idiot OM thought it was the BMW Assist GPS on her car), instead of humping like naughty little bunnies. Infidelitus interruptus.
)
