You get five stars! You are doing an incredible job hanging in there for the M. You have made so many changes, including being willing to work as much as possible and having compassion for how stressful that is/has been for H all these years.
You two are trying to be your best selves to each other during a time of enormous stress. You're letting it bring you closer rather than farther apart, as money issues do for so many couples. Like you said, if you can get through this (and I know you will), you can get through anything!
