No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks 25yearsmlc.

I think I mentioned that there was a conversation my W and I had (before the bomb) if we fantasized about anyone else while we had sex. This was just a casual conversation and not because we were worried about anything. I mentioned a friend of mine and she said her boss. It was probably about a year prior to the A.

I stand by my opinion of that being really UNhelpful questioning...really...

But anyhow, you're right that it's all water under the bridge. The part that I'm at now is if I should start pulling away more. She's been receptive to the times that we have been going out and have been keeping the times light and fun. I really don't get the feeling that she's stringing me along until she finds someone else.

I don't think she's stringing you along...I think she's confused and a bit "wacky" although i'm not clinically qualifed to assess...seems that being a leader, in a healthy manly way without being a jerk, would be helpful. I meant that when I said to keep moving on....not to leave her, per se. But to not "need" her...

Since all this happened she did seem to draw closer, so I don't know if pulling away is the right way to go right now. That's what's causing my "paralysis" right now. I don't know if I should continue to be the supportive person I am now to her or detach more and have her figure things out on her own. She seems to need some kind of guidance and I know it's not my "job" but in a way it is because she is still my W.

I think for now I'm going to continue to GAL and give her the space she needs to figure things out, but every now and then when we are together, give her a nudge in the right direction (i.e. me being the confident, strong, supportive male). Show her that I'm the better choice. And if she's not attracted, that's her choice. Others already are.

THis makes sense to me.
j-