Who are these men, right? I think a lot of them are just weak, period. And yet, there are a lot of good ones out there too!
We need to just keep working on making ourselves stronger, open up to new possibilities (meeting new people too!), while also letting go of the old (relationship w H, whether you ever start on new footing with him or with someone new). It takes time, and I hear you there are many times I feel like I'm done and over, and then a new reality soaks in and it's a small grieving process again. The good news is that the 'grieving waves' are much less rough in subsequent times and passing, and we have more tools in our arsenal to deal with them. My IC said when another bout of sadness/grief comes up that it is actually a good thing (I hadn't thought of it that way), bacause you are really grasping and dealing with the reality of the situation more fully - it is a kind of letting go - and it will pave the way for what comes next. I thought it was interesting to think of this way, so instead of getting down on myself for having another sad day/week, just realizing that it is carrying you to the next level and getting rid of some of this emotional 'gunk'.
Yes, I need to get back to work too...ugh. Going to see Broken Embraces tonite w a friend - excited to see. then a quick day trip tomorrow. Back to packing this wkend..so much to do!
