Well on a positive note, the diet is still going well. I lost another 3 pounds last week so I think that makes 7 pounds so far! I am starting to get my bike geared up for cycling season which feels nice too since it will offer me MUCH more GAL opportunity and stress relief.
I am fighting hard to stay strong because on top of this, work is also really unfun and stressful right now. I sometimes feel that once I make it through this nightmarish time in my life, I will be able to withstand just about anything life throws my way!
I came home this afternoon and saw in the computer history that W has been googling for local marriage counselors, a google search on "how to save a marriage" and reading some relationship articles. I really hope that she is reaching a point where she can start to work on herself and eventually work with me on understanding how to move forward. Forunately, yet unfortunately in some ways, she spent a lot of time on the DB website reading articles and she read some of MWD's blogs and twitter feeds.
I came home today with a resolve in mind to lay it on the line tonight and tell her that if she can't cut off contact with him that I can no longer be with her. I passed OM in a stairwell at work today on the way up to talk to my boss. I was so agitated that I could hardly carry the conversation with my boss and it made me upset to think of how unhealthy this whole thing has been for me. Yet now, I see that she is actually reading up on relationships. I know that this is only a very small step for her and may not mean much right now but I am at least hopeful that a little of the A fog blew out the other night!
I will probably change my screen name now since "Junco" will catch my W's attention if she somehow makes it to these forums. If we ever reconcile solidly, I wouldn't mind her reading my thread but would prefer for her to not see it for now.
