Mishka- I feel the same way about the death. I've said that plenty! A divorce is a death, it is the death of your M. It's just hard to be haunted everyday by the person who killed your M.
The problem with the every other weekend is he can't see the kids during the week on his non weekend. He wants to see them (or so he says) and was very upset about being a part-time dad, a weekend dad, but what did he think was going to happen? He will never walk away from his kids and this isn't about them he says. Like you said- they tell themselves anything and everything to make it okay in their world.
I am worried that he will start to get nasty now because D12 won't see him and of course it will be my fault. I am so not looking forward to the end of the day. My hope is that I won't feel weak when he leaves. I feel so strong right now. He has broken the last string of trust and it makes it easier to see what he has become and not fool myself into thinking he's miserable and just lost. He is a cheater and a liar and has betrayed me for the last time. It's been way over 48 hours and I still don't think I want him. For my kids I would go to C but at this point he would not be welcome to come home until he did some serious IC and MC. It would take a long time. I wasn't at this point before. I would have let him come back whenever because I didn't believe or want to believe he would do this to me and for who knows how long!!!
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
