One day at a time....

[flowmom]

RW, I can't imagine a better award to a DBer than a sincere ILY. Celebrating with you!

[courageous wife]

Hope all is well with RW!!!

[rockedworld]

I'm find CW, thanks for asking. And, thanks for encouragement and comments from others.

Just feeling a bit worn down from the roller coaster ride of the past year... limited energy these days.

Plus, got some word that OW is starting to tell people... of course certain key people... about the A. I have stated before in my thread that both H and I have high profile jobs, are very well known in our community. When this does become more public, as I am sure it will eventually, it will be a big thing. And, a very, very difficult thing. H and I both spent a good part of the weekend stressed anxious about that.

The good thing in that is we hung on to each other. That's what we are doing... just hanging on to each other and minimizing extras. I'm not on the boards as much for that reason.

[pearlharbr]

Rocked, it's going to be difficult when people start asking you questions. Decide now what you are and are not going to say. Being prepared will cut down on the fear and anxiety. Remember that you can always decide to end a conversation with a smile and walking away.

[mindfull]

Rocked, Pearl is absolutely right. You, truly don't have to respond unless you want to. And, remember, people will talk, and are always looking for something to talk about. They will have moved on to the next juicy bit in no time...

[rockedworld]

Thanks Pearl and Mind.
You are both right. We have discussed this to some extent already. My H has said he will own it when directly asked, because he feels it is the right thing to do. But, very few people need to know details. We plan to basically say, "yes it is true, but H recognized it as a huge mistake, it is over and we are both committed to and working on our M". Enough said. But, I get knots in my stomach just thinking about it. I know it will pass, I know. But, I am a private person, always have been and this is a nightmare for me. It just goes on and on. I think we still have some hard times to come with this, but i am just trying to live day by day.

[avermont]

I think Ann Landers always suggested, in response to a waay too personal question: "that's a very personal question." Nuff said, smile, move on.

Or, "thank you for your concern. This is very personal."

If actions speak louder than words, as we say here, then the askers will be seeing you with H, not OW with H, and there's the proof in the pudding. Whatever that saying means!

Sorry you have to deal with this next step. I'm sure there will be some other scandal soon enough for the gossipers to gossip about.

[flowmom]

I think Ann Landers always suggested, in response to a waay too personal question: "that's a very personal question." Nuff said, smile, move on.

Love that! It's too bad that you are going to have to deal with the consequences of your H's actions. But OTOH, it will reinforce to your H that his actions have consequences beyond the damage to your M.

[rockedworld]

Thanks Aver and Flowmom.
Aver... you are right. There really isn't a need to say much more than that. I think there are some people we will need to say more with, but otherwise not.
Flowmom, you have a good point as well about this forcing H to face consequences. It never ceases to amaze me as I have read other people's sitches how WAS fogbrain seems to prevent them from seeing that at the time. Now that the fog has lifted, my H is so shaken by his own choices and actions and can't even understand what he was thinking, or how he had somehow convinced himself at the time that there wouldn't be negative consequences.... I know some of this is his own journey, but yeah, it sucks that I have to pay a price too. There will be an impact on my own career and that is the really unfair part. But, I will do my best to walk through this part of the journey with my head held high.

[gutwrenching]

Rocked -
I really empathise with you...in high profile jobs, are very private people, my stomach turns at the thought of it becoming public where we work. I also know that chances are high, no matter how my sitch turns out, my career will take a hit. It is what it is, we take risks for the more important things in life. Your risk paid off.

I like the Ann Landers approach provided too you...I think it would minimize the pain. Yes H should face consequences, but right now it seems he has owned up to the consequences, and maybe the two of you don't need another outside distraction to deal with while you are piecing. You are so strong that I know you will get thru this no matter how the two of you decide to handle it. I think a key is the two of you decide together...turn this into a positive step as you bond even closer to develop an approach and then survive thru what will be a little fallout. Chances are, the fallout isn't going to be near as great as your mind is thinking right now.

In the end, never forget, you are still the winner. You got the ultimate prize, you may have lost things along the way, but you not only finished the marathon, you won it, while the others fell out along the way.