Does the long term really exist for anything? Tomorrow is never guaranteed....not for a job, marriage, financial security, or even health. We all want to live in the delusion that we can control the future, but we can't. What we can do though is live for today..live by our principles, our commitments, and enjoy today for what it is.
The diagnosis for MLC is hard and more of a gut feeling applied to a limited set of criteria....but you will know for certain someday. One lifestyle that points towards a very high chance of MLC.....is serving others without serving yourself. I researched just plain old vanilla MLC...straight on the psyche side of it. The person who sacrifices for others predominantly falls into MLC. Loss of self identity, the depression, eventually despair all leading to the MLC explosion. So then let's add in your heritage..
I would assume that your wife helped around the house from very young? Then was married and took care of the house and such because that is what a wife does? As you have stated she was a "sweet wife" who took care of everything as you went through your battles. She has spent a lifetime taking care of others....always bad....no.....but then throw a catalyst into the equation and boom.
Are you to blame...no! Is she really to blame...no! It happens...and now she needs to find her way on her own. While she is doing that you have to swallow your tongue and let her...or else she will never come out of it. What we give you here is the advice and support to hold your tongue and improve yourself. Your end goal is to get to a place were you can love her from a distance and stay out of the storm.
Thanks Lost. FTR I have decided not to confront W about OM. As you so put it I need to bite my T and get out of the way. This as you can imagine is tough for a dominating controling freak like myself. But therein lies the changes that are needed. I cannot control this, I cannot predict the future. I am only along for the ride, which should be on the Eric express to self improvement. As for the pain...that is my cross to bear and work thru.
BTW - is thier anybody on these post that are in the lovely state of CT?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
