H wants to talk tomorrow! Please advise.

[mishka422]

HC,

Never apologize for how long a post is, never apologize for your feelings either. They are yours and you have a right to them!

Selfish should be the middle name of every WAS. They do this out of their own needs and convince themselves that what they are doing is actually a good thing because of tensions in the house and M. They don't see the fallout they cause. Don't expect him to do that or you will be hurt even further. I say this from far more experience on the subject than I could ever have wanted.

If he agreed to take the kids every weekend, that was a rash decision on his part. He wasn't thinking of anything other than getting you to quiet down when he said it. Kind of like the response of, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." when we keep asking someone the same thing but in different formats. KWIM? It is reasonable to expect him to have the kids every other weekend though. As long as his job does not have him working on the weekends he should be held to that. Don't talk to him about it this week though, your emotions are far too close to the surface for anything good to come out of the conversation. Wait until early next week and tell him he will need to have the kids the first and third weekends of the month (or the second and fourth - whatever works best for you). If he balks at that, you are going to have to get a L to get paperwork rolling because he is being unreasonable.

I know this hurts horribly. It's pain that, IMO, is much more devastating than a death. I often said I wished my xh had just died because at least that would not have been a choice. Being abandonded to all the responsibility that you had as a M'd couple is overwhelming. We understand your pain and we are here for you!

VENT AWAY!!!