I guess all I can say is that just when i finished my training... just as I have begun to develop a bond with those boys... my wife stripped them away from me. so I still feel somewhat detatched from them.. they are still somewhat of an abstract concept to me. Fatherhood is still something I am just learning to do-- but admittedly it is not at the top of my list... I suppose being heartbroken and wishing my wife loved me is. I guess that is one example of something that needs to change with me.
I love them... i love being with them... but she has seen to it to limit the connection and bond that we have. She has done this on purpose, I feel (or subconciously on purpose) so that they are not sad. so that they do not miss me or realize how tragic it is that they do not have me in their life. she is prepping them for the future... she is prepping them to never have me fully in their life.
So......
STOP being the victim and do something about it....
Cat is right, cause there goes another " yes, but" answer....
Do something about it....
Lay down that boundry that it is NOT okay for her to answer questions from the boys directed to you, and that YOU would like to answer those yourself....
question for you, and you need not reply to me, just yourself.....
When you stand by the pearly gates one day, which answer would you prefer....
To adjust your tie and proclaim that you saved thousands of lives of people you havent spoken to since, cause you were a cardiac surgeon ?
OR
That you saved the lives of the two people who matter the most in this world, and they call you Dad every freakin day.....and BTW....I was a doctor that helped people in my spare time as well.....
I'm not downplaying your profession, as a matter of fact, I admire your dedication....
I just know that if it were me......well, it's not .
