thanks guys, I really do sense a shift in things. This no expectations part is really hard. It is so true that getting on with your own life is what really helps. For me it is the distraction that I need and it helps me the most. Kind of win/win for me,and if I'm busy with my own business I'm not thinking about him or his. When I quit obsessing about what he was doing, there was a shift in me, this in turn started the shift in him. I have been keeping up with your thread upside, glad to see that things are moving forward for you again, this patience stuff is hard work (so is keeping my mouth shut) but I think we will both be rewarded in the end. Things with me are, I think, moving along well. This Sunday my H finally followed through with plans to come over for dinner. It was his idea but every time the day would come "something came up". So he showed up and we grilled, watched the race, and had a couple of beers. The kids kept saying this is cool or this is so weird, or this is so normal. Made me kind of nervous at first but he agreed with them. He also did not avoid me at all, he stood next to my chair all day. When it was time for him to go the kids (all teens) said lets do this again and he said "we will". Our D 13 went with him for the day and when she came back she said that Dad said we are going to do that alot more, said he had alot of fun. Very cool. Then....last night he called and said " I just called because I wanted to tell you that I love you" said it three times within a 90 second conversation. These words have not been spoked like this in a verrrry long time. As usual he still calles me several times every day and his visits are becoming more frequent. This all started around August and there have been no big set backs. Slow but sure I think. Hard not to try and give him a litle push but i guess I'll have to keep resisting, wish me luck LT
