My H has definitely taken a small step back from the total reconnection we had the other night. He is still coming around but I can tell his walls are back up to some degree. He came over Monday night and plans to be here tonight but there is no talk of anything but right now. I understand...I'm scared too. I am not giving him any pressure...although he is probably putting pressure on himself. It does concern me that my H has been so avoidant and indecisive, that he could go back to that. And the thought runs through my mind that he could go completely back and make me the reason for his unhappiness again...however I think he has progressed too far to go back there.
The couple of times my H has been at my house since our "reconnection", at least to me, he doesn't appear completely comfortable and relaxed. He doesn't seem to be anxious like he was before at times but I sense he is still afraid to make the step of moving back. If he runs again, I would not be completely shocked...sad, but not shocked.
I am concerned about my S18 and D16(my kids from my 1st M). My S especially does not understand why I keep giving my H more chances. I have tried to explain some of what my H is going through to my kids. They think I have put up with way too much. If my H bails again, my kids would not understand. I worry about how much respect for me they have lost. I know someday they may come to understand and appreciate what I have done...but for now they just don't see it.
