2 years later it's still not getting easier

[Augtan]

I know exactly how you feel! I am struggling too. I miss my family being whole everyday. I have my kids pretty much 100% of the time, as XH lives 700 miles away, so it isn't my kids I miss, I miss my H!

I have been on the "mid-life crisis" board for awhile. I know he was/is in mlc, but now that OW is gone I can't help but want him to want to come back home and be with us again. He knows I still love him and we talk more now than we have since all this started. He told me he still loves me, never said not romanticly, but doesn't indicate he wants to pursure a relationship like that. He did say the other day when I asked him why he wouldn't want to do that "I'm just not 100% sure we are compatible, yet". Like he is working on figuring out if we are and will then do something if he moves in that direction.

But, I know he is going out all the time and I fear he will just meet someone else and think it is easier with them. I have told him that it won't be easier cause I know his needs now and am willing to meet them, and with someone new it will be a lot of work. Also, with someone else he won't have his kids in his life much at all. I get so upset and distraught when I know he is out with people, mainly cause I know a woman is after him big time. I don't let on to him that I care he is out and I never get upset about stuff like that while talking to him. I have learned patience like I never knew.

We are suppose to take the kids on Spring Break together the end of March, he is checking with work this week and should give me a final answer by Friday. I just want the strength to go on this trip, have a good time, not have any serious talks and show him how much fun we can have and do have together.

I just wanted you to know that there are others out there struggling with similar things as you are, wanting your family together! I just don't understand why any parent would want anything but a whole family for their children. I hate divorce and I hate that our society has made it so easy and acceptable. I was meant to be a wife in the 1950's I think! Hang in there and just keep doing what you are doing all while "GAL" for yourself.

A