Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Just got done mowing the lawn, edging, blowing off the mess, and blowing out the garage! Need to go and spray some more of the insane weeds that are growing everywhere. Sent my son with another truck load of stuff we don't need to the dump today.

I am getting more independent by the day.

Oh, exh sent a text when I was outside working and I left my phone in the house. He asked to come by and see baby, but it was 45 minutes later before I responded. He got pissy and said he texted awhile ago and I need to be better about communicating about HIS daughter. Whatever.

[JAK58]

Good for you for leaving the phone inside.
Was it his visitaion. If not then I feel that you need to tell him that he needs to stick to the schedule.(Plain English)

You are doing great it seems. Kudos to you for getting all of that done! Must feel great.

I haven"t been posting that much but do keep an eye on you.

Hugs,
JAK

[Startingover2]

Thanks Jak...
When exh text'd yesterday he said he had to work alot in the next few days and wanted to see her. I get that and would be willing to work with him, BUT...not sure if that is really the case or he just wants what he wants, when he wants. Today is Wednesday...he has to run his other kids around so that might have been a motivator for him wanting to come yesterday too. I also would be more willing to work with him if he made his other visits when he is supposed to. My time is valuable too and I am just as busy as he is, but I set the visit time aside. Why can't he?

[bright_new_day]

You need to stand firm about visits taking place during the scheduled time. When he contacts you regarding visits that are not during his scheduled time you need to tell him you will be available during his next scheduled visitation, and give no excuses for why he can't visit when he wants to. Hopefully he will eventually get it! Don't worry about him saying you are unreasonable or keeping baby from him. He has a schedule, he can take advantage of it. No judge in the world would expect you to be available at his whim.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I agree with not giving excuses. and if he asks, well, it's not about baby, so you can just not respond to it.

what I think you can say though, is "exH, at each sched visitation, I make sure I am avail and set aside my time to make sure our D can spend special time with her dad at visitation. I will not be available any other time. However, in the future, if I see that you are really utilizing this time, then I will be more open to making unscheduled visitation time with her."

of course if you don't want to let him spend more time with her, well, you probably wouldn't want to add the last line, but I still think it is important to help D have a good R with her dad.

[bright_new_day]

I wouldn't add the last part. He has court ordered supervised visitation. It is not at her discretion to add to his time. Plus it comes across as controlling on her part. Stick to the basics.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

bnd, are you saying that it is "illegal" for her to give him extra time?

I do agree, it seems a little controlling, but then again, he had been controlling her this whole time.

[Startingover2]

I dont think its illegal..just an open door for exh to take advantage and make life all about him still. My first exh have always been give and take with schedules but he is nothing like exh.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

oh. well, I was thinking that you would be okay with giving him different times, if that wasn't something he tried to do ALL the time. so that's why I added the last sentence.

[bright_new_day]

I don't think it is illegal per se, but not in her best interests. If she sets a precedent of allowing him to see her whenever it is convenient for him, she will be setting herself up for more complications with him. If she gives an inch he will try to take 2 miles....that seems to be who he is.